Thursday, June 21, 2012

Read this and take action!!

"I am having these thoughts of suicide after a long string of defeats. There is no pleasure in my existence. I know God is perfect, but I am not. I have made so many mistakes that cannot be repaired. Wrong choices, deadly relationships, wrong jobs. I am 51 years old and not married, no children and in a dead end job...... My sister and her children have been staying with me in my one bedroom apartment, but she has been unable to help with rent for one reason or another because her money has to go to care for her kids and buy gas for her car. She has been blessed continuously and loves church. I have not been blessed at all. I do attend church and am a Christian. However, even though I have asked God to make some good of the mess which is my life, He has not done so. I don't really see how I can go on. Going to church is a nightmare. My church prides itself on the family relationship- specifically marriage. I have not been asked to be married and I do not have children. I walk alone in this life. Women cannot understand me because they are family oriented and I make them uncomfortable when I answer them with No, No and No when they are trying to get to know me and ask "So are you married, do you have kids.. do you have a boyfriend?" I have been made a wandered and a vagabond on this earth and I do not feel the love of Christ blessing my life. I don't know what to do. I feel that I am being tormented because everywhere I go, there are young women pregnant, with families, rejoicing in church. I do not want to go to church anymore. I am writing to you because I feel so despondent. My sister cannot relate because she has been married before and knows she will get married again because single men are attracted to her in that way, especially men (ministers) who attend church. i am not nearly as attractive as she. I have had relationships, but only for what I could provide (car, cell phone, place to live) to a guy. I believed otherwise for years until I could see the pattern. Until xxxx came along last year. ------- I feel like I am a curse and invisible on this land and a waste of God's time. I am skilled in pharmacy and have tried to take my life several times, but I just keep waking up to this misery. Just before I had surgery in xxxx, I had this strong feeling that I wasn't going to see xxxxx anymore and told him so, believing I was going to die on the operating table. I didn't even pray for a safe surgery. But it was him that died and not me. if God doesn't want to help me, I don't believe anyone can. I am desperate and ashamed to be me. Every day I hope to be found by a stray bullet or a auto collision. I am living a life most miserable. I cannot get a prayer through. I hope you can. Thank you for reading..."

Dear Readers:

What you have read above is a note from a sister who was desperately seeking help.  Let the Christian community wake up to cater to the needs of such people among us.

Luke 4:16-20
So Jesus came to Nazareth, where He had been brought up. And as His custom was, He went into the synagogue on the Sabbath day, and stood up to read. And He was handed the book of the prophet Isaiah. And when He had opened the book, He found the place where it was written:
“The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me,
Because He has anointed Me
To preach the gospel to the poor;
He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives
And recovery of sight to the blind,
To set at liberty those who are oppressed;
To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord."
Then He closed the book, and gave it back to the attendant and sat down. And the eyes of all who were in the synagogue were fixed on Him. 21 And Jesus began to say to them, “Today this Scripture is fulfilled in your hearing.”

Are we manifesting the work of the Lord to the needy ones? A time to ponder and act!! May the Spirit of the Lord minister to us all.

Please feel free to share your thoughts and comments on this post!!

- by Shanta S. Daniel
[Copyright@ Permission is granted to duplicate this article in its entirety, but only without additions, alterations or omissions of any kind, including the author and ministry name at the end]

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